This post was inspired by a recent Tricycle article, “Death as a Spiritual Experience.” Our culture is so death phobic, yet paradoxically so entertained by violent death, that the idea of healthy dying seems counterintuitive. The much touted public health concept of “Healthy Ageing” conveniently omits the final chapter — dying, which would seem to contradict, or at least undermine, the goal of health. How could dying possibly be healthy?
The rational solution to the problem of assuming that dying must be unhealthy, is of course government approved “physician-assisted” dying or euthanasia. An alternative approach, which considers dying a natural process and an opportunity for healing, is of course palliative care. Offering support to patients and families through the illness, dying, and bereavement process alleviates a measure of suffering by offering to mend breaches of connection, or heal relationships between family members. These include breaches within the self, failures to connect with, and love parts of yourself you have always despised. The transition out of the body that we call dying will be much more painful for all concerned until we accept all those parts. Doing so restores us to wholeness, or health.
Tibetan Buddhism is one of the few religious practices that directly confronts the experience of dying with a forensic, phenomenological approach that takes the transition to other vibrational realities seriously. Christianity also takes it seriously but is based on the third person perspective, or the idea that we each can mystically participate in the dying experience — the Passion — of the Christ. Doing so does not necessarily demand that we be the witness to our own dying, though.
And Vipassana teacher Larry Rosenberg points out: “most of us are imbalanced when it comes to death. We haven’t come to terms with the nature of our bodies, and we don’t see death as a natural process. So we have all kinds of funny reactions to it: excessive joking, or avoidance, or preoccupation in a morbid way. Death awareness practice can bring us into balance.”
We can practice for dying simply by becoming aware of our breathing — of each outbreath that might be the last, and then the next and the next and the next. Making all our living in awareness of the outbreath a practice for dying enables us to directly experience the present moment, rather than experience in a mediated way, as narrated, or not be experienced at all.
I aspire to experience all my dying: after all, it may be the only time I do it in this body, and it would be a shame to miss out!